Phillip Kopczynski wrote this and it's probably good practice for the day he'll be in court, defending himself and talking in the third person.
 

Born and raised in the mountains of eastern Washington, Phillip Kopczynski started comedy at age 11 doing pratfalls to make his Down Syndrome sister laugh. Now he's a reluctant nice guy and father who just wants to occasionally play in the wilderness and regularly make city-dwellers laugh.  Phillip worked in corporate America for 10 years before beginning his comedy career, which wound him right back in the corporate world where he has performed for Red Lion Hotels, Godfathers Franchise groups, Altria, IPH, Bunzl, Pacific Steel, and many other companies in US and Canada.

Phillip placed second at the 2018 Seattle International Comedy Competition, and has performed in bars, clubs, winery’s, theaters from Vancouver BC to Orlando, Florida. Venue owners have deemed him funny enough to work with Dennis Miller, Bert Kreischer, Theo Vonn, Sarah Colonna, Tim Meadows, Jay Mohr, Jubal Flagg, Dan Cummins, and many famous and semi-famous people.

He has been seen in commercials for Goodwill along with the very popular Barats and Beretta YouTube Channel (120M views).

He is the author of the novel Freedom Weed, a sketch comedy collection Comedy with Friends, and a comedy album called Hillbilly Glamorous.